I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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