ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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