fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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