he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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