I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
