Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
