How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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