one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
