Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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