mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
