I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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