Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
