I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We need a shit load of segways right now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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