Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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