I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
