when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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