can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize