You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
