my mouth tastes like poor choices
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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