what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
