please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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