then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
