You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize