Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i wish my penis had a tongue
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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