He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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