It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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