Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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