we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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