Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
