So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize