"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
