He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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