some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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