I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
