oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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