But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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