I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
