Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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