He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
okay pat passed out under dana's car
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
two words: eviction party
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
