And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
