I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you win again, gameday.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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