it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
