She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
