i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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