We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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