theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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