i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
