is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
