I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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