Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
