you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
