that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize