What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
NoShamevember. You game?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
