Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Randomize
