My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
