Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
