Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can tuck mytits in my pants
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
